A reader sent me this question: “What are some coping strategies for dealing with a team that is storming and has rejected its leader?”

This reader went on to suggest that one coping strategy would be for the leader to understand that “it’s not about the leader”, it’s about where the group is developmentally. “Leaders” he said “still feel unpleasant and not sure of what to do during this time.”

My response…

One line of thought suggests that when a leader feels rejected by his/her team then it is about the team (not about the leader).  I don't subscribe to this line of thinking.

If a leader is experiencing rejection it's all about the leader (not the group).  The world we experience (the "outer") is simply a reflection of what is going on with us / inside us (the "inner").

If a team can make a leader feel rejected then the leader becomes a victim.  Choosing the role of the victim is very convenient because the leader doesn't need to look inside.  The only problem with choosing to be a victim is... there are no victims. 

Groups that go through the storming phase experience storming.  Depending on ow the leader leads the group during this phase, the group will experience more difficulty or less but difficulty can not be avoided entirely during the storming phase of a group’s development. 

We attract to us people, situations and circumstances.  What we attract to us is a direct reflection of what we believe, speak and feel on a consistent basis. 

So if a leader is experiencing rejection (i.e. choosing to feel rejected) then the FIRST place to start looking to make changes is inside - within the leader.

The leader is always at choice.

Learn more about leadership coaching.